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Thursday, September 15, 2011

Jokes Corner for People who Hate Racism

Some anti-racist jokes, if you please!

Everyone’s heard of the popular ‘yo momma’ jokes, and of course the ‘knock-knock’ jokes that has stood the test of time. Ever heard of anti-racist jokes?

1) Have you herd about the one where the racist choked on his Yogurt? He found out there was a foreign culture in it.

2) How many racist does it take to change a light bulb? None, racists hate being enlightened.

3) What do you call 10,000 racists under the sea? A good start.

4) What’s the difference between a racist and a bucket of sludge? The bucket.

5) Why didn’t the racist cross the road? He was afraid of the other side.

6) Why do racists compete on skin colour? If they competed on brains, they would lose,

7) What’s the difference between a ghost and a racist? One is a sheet-wearing spook who tries to scare people out of their homes, and the other one is a dead guy.

8) A man walks into a private hospital for a brain transplant. The doctor shows the patient 3 brains and 3 price tags next to each brain. The patient can choose which brain he wants.

A White Man’s Brain $ 500

A Black Man’s Brain $ 500

A Racist’s Brain $2000

Patient asks why the racist’s brain is so expensive.

Doctor replies, “That’s because it’s never been used.”

STOP THE WAR AGAINST RACISM, BUT NEVER STOP LAUGHING.

Some Acting Quotes

'All the world's a stage,

And all the men and women are merely players....'
-As You Like It, William Shakespeare

'Though this be madness, yet there is method in it'
-Hamlet, William Shakespeare

'O, beware, my lord of jealousy;
It is the green-eyed monster which doth mock,
The meat it feeds on...'
-Othello, William Shakespeare

'A horse! A horse! A kingdom for my horse!'
-Richard III, with apologies to William Shakespeare

'When sorrows come, they come not single spies,
But in battalion.'
-Hamlet, William Shakespeare

'Oh God, that men should put an enemy into their mouths to steal away their brains!'
-Othello, William Shakespeare

'O, villain, villain, smiling damned villain!'
-Hamlet, William Shakespeare

'Out damned spot, out I say!'
-Lady Macbeth, Macbeth, William Shakespeare

My Favourite Quotes, Poems, Thoughts......

Want to see literature I LOVE? Here is some of it:


'To see the world in a grain of sand
And heaven in a wildflower
To hold infinity in the palm of your hand
And eternity in an hour'

Food is to the body what poetry is to the soul.

“There are no small parts, only small actors.”

- Konstantin Stanislovski

“Art mirrors life.”

- Unknown

Sanity is a trademark of the weakminded.

Creativity is allowing yourself to make mistakes. Art is knowing which ones to keep.

Design + Fashion = Lifestyle

Writing and drawing is simply dancing on paper.

Failure keeps happening, but success is right around the corner.

Music is what keeps us from killing ourselves.

“I find the harder I work, the more successful I am.”

- Rudyard Kipling

“Everyday I check the Forbes List Of Top Ten Richest People In America. If I’m not there, I go to work.”

- Unknown

“No one can make you feel insecure except you.”

- Eleanor Roosevelt

V for Vendetta

VoilĂ ! In view, a humble vaudevillian veteran, cast vicariously as both victim and villain by the vicissitudes of fate. This visage, no mere veneer of vanity, is a vestige of the vox populi, now vacant, vanished. However, this valorous visitation of a bygone vexation stands vivified, and has vowed to vanquish these venal and virulent vermin vanguarding vice and vouchsafing the violently vicious and voracious violation of volition! The only verdict is vengeance; a vendetta held as a votive, not in vain, for the value and veracity of such shall one day vindicate the vigilant and the virtuous. Verily, this vichyssoise of verbiage veers most verbose, so let me simply add that it's my very good honour to meet you and you may call me V.

– V's introductory monologue upon meeting Evey

This introductory monologue is from themovie "V for Vendetta". On of the best political movies I have ever witnessed. This movie is a must-watch for anyone who loves politics and overthrowing bad governments.

A Murder Most Foul

Here's a story that I wrote a few months ago. Ta!


All of us, standing in a circle, surrounding the casket. Everyone is dressed appropriately in black, and people cry as the priest says a few words about the deceased. I stand in the back, and I cannot shed another tear, for I have used them all up. A raindrop hits the bridge of my nose. It’s beginning to rain, so I open up the umbrella. Raining on the day of his funeral, how perfect. I smile sadly as I remember how he used to say that rain were the teardrops of great gods looking down at us and crying. How fitting. You’ve taken another one from us. From me. Why God? I bitterly thought. When I opened up my umbrella, I could hear the spattering of the rain against the cloth of the umbrella. As the priest says a few more words, he motions for the casket to be lowered.

I stand from a reasonable distance. Near enough where I can see the casket being lowered but far enough so I don’t see the glares from other people, violently asking why I’m not crying at my own husband’s funeral. I don’t think I can cry anymore. Another half an hour passes and everyone leaves. I’m the only one left standing there. I cautiously walk to the grave. On the tombstone it said, “ Theodore Shay, June 14th 1976February 2nd 2010, loving friend, cop and husband.” Then I read the little quote at the bottom that I insisted be put there. It was his favorite. The quote read,

‘To see the world in a grain of sand,

And heaven in a wildflower,

To hold infinity in the palm of my hand,

And eternity in an hour.’

I lowered my eyes and tried to force myself to cry, but nothing came out. I really must be used up. Then, I walked through the cemetery, weaving my way through tombstones and graves. I reached the gate of the cemetery and looked back, hearing footsteps, my heart skipped a beat as I thought, for one foolish second, it was him. But when I turned it was just a black cat that hissed at my sudden movements. I bent my head and walked on the bleak, grey pavement. My thoughts went astray and I remembered the murder that happened there, at Peacock Avenue. The murder my husband and I tried to stop.

The murder where my husband had died.

We were in the middle of the restaurant. Two people were already dead. There were three of them and our colleague was badly wounded. Our situation looked bad. Apparently, one of gun-holding gangsters decided he wasn’t cut out for this. He started blabbering about what he had done, he didn’t want to do it anymore. He was a weak one. The other guys, they knew, so they decided to finish him off, right there and then……..

“Joey, don’t try it with us,” started one of the gangsters. “Don’t you dare move!” I yelled, getting angrier by the second. I was known in the force for my famous temper. “Oooh, I’m so scared of a girl cop! Leave it to the men, honey. Go home and do some sewing,” shouted out one of the mobsters. I was very tempted to kill them or in the very least shoot them in the foot, but there were other people here and this was a hostage situation, with other people in the restaurant. I then felt a hand on my shoulder and that was the ice cube that cooled me down. “Rochelle, it’s okay, I’ve called for backup.” Theo whispered.

Suddenly, there was a shattering of glass as bullets went through them and ricocheted off the walls. “Get down!” Theo yelled as he pushed me down by grabbing my head. I landed with a thud on the hardwood floor, but I didn’t care about that. All I saw was, my husband’s body lying lifelessly on the floor. It took me a few seconds to realize that the gangsters were gone. They had obviously had some help. But that didn’t matter.

What was more important was my husband. I started fearing the worst. “No, no, no, no, no, NO!” I started crying under my breath. I crawled over to Theo was. He was lying on his side and when I turned him over I could see a bullet through his throat. The worst sight in my life. Blood was turning into a pool around his head. His face was drained of colour and he just looked so….fragile. I started crying and saying things. Anything. Anything that came to my head. Even when the rest of the backup came, all they saw was my Theo’s dead body. And me, hovering over it, sobbing, dipping my hands in his blood.

“Aaah!” I cried as I walked into a banister. Up the banister led to our apartment. My apartment now. I walked up the stairs, as if my soul left my body and I was a zombie. I walked down the expensive corridor, shuffling my feet and closing my umbrella. I reached apartment 2020. I turned the key in the lock and I was faced with an empty apartment. I walked in and looked at all the photo frames of us. Our wedding day, our honeymoon, when we moved into the apartment and cleaned up the place, so on and so forth. I went into his study and lay on his couch just trying to get some sleep.

It was then that I had an epiphany. Why don’t I kill them? Why don’t I kill the people that killed my husband? It was only fair. I should be allowed to take my revenge. I should be. Something in me just snapped, I couldn’t bear it anymore. I am not going to take this lying down. They killed my husband. And the only person who saw their faces was Theo. I don’t care. I’ll kill all the gangsters in Manhattan. And anyone that gets in my way. I refused to take it lying down.

So that’s how I ended up here. In the nightclub with everyone dead around me. I’ve gone on a search around Manhattan and killed about 15 gangs and hundreds of innocents. And now I’ve found them. I’ve found the people that killed my husband. But I’m not going to stop. I’ve gotten a liking for killing. It’s a nice thing to do. So I’m going to continue. I’m going to kill the entire police force for taking away my badge. Unstable? Me? How am I unstable? I’m just taking the revenge that is rightfully mine. All this cause by one single murder. One single murder most foul.

The End

Alternate Merdeka Day Commercial! (for those of us in Malaysia)

“Nega” begins the Bangladeshi waiter, confidently.

“Raku” continues his counterpart from Myanmar, not sure if this is a joke.

“Tanah” trills the China masseuse, who is keeping an eye on the fountain.

“Tumpah” goes the Javenese construction worker: he’s a bit off-key and his friends laugh at him.

“Nya darahku…” sings the Filipino maid in a soaring soprano.

“Rakyat hidup” declaim the three Nepalese men who work at a carpet shop, taking more relish in their singing than you would think possible.

“Bersatu” says the apprentice mechanic from Madras, who seems to be thinking of something else.

“Dan” says the pair of Nigerian students, one of whom is much taller than the other and has to bend down to the shared microphone.

“Maju…” continues the money-changer from Pakistan.

“Rahmat” says the Vietnamese man who just made your breakfast.

“Bahagia” says the Sri Lankan security guard, who is standing proud.

“Tuhan kurniakan…” says the cleaning woman from timor Leste, standing right in front of the frame.

“Raja kita” says the young Thai man from a bakery.

“Selamat” says the Laotian to whom you just paid your parking fees.

“Bertakhta” says the Sumatran delivery man: he is framed dead centre.

Rahmat bahagia” says the two friends (one from Sulawesi, one from Zimbabwe) who work for the same packing company.

“Tuhan kurniakan” chimes in the perfume sales rep from Macao.

“Raja kita” booms the Mauritian jeweler.

“Selamat bertakhta” is the decisive close by the smiling half-Taiwanese who is between jobs.

FADE TO BLACK

LOGO & TAGLINE

END.

(excerpt from the book "Rojak", by Amir Muhammad)

The Typical Subject About Love






Yes, love. I'm finally talking about love. They say love is THE most powerful emotion in the world. And I have to agree, it is. But what I get really tired of, is when you ask a teenage girl about love, and they start ranting on about the perfect guy and how it sucks to be in heartbreak and yadda yadda yadda, teardrops on my guitar, physical attraction. But guess what? Love isn't just about the oppsite sex!


What about animals? The Earth? Your family? A close friend, not taking into account what gender they are? Your favourite things that MAKE you feel LOVED? Tell me, teenage girls, what about love then. These are a few hear pictures, that may seem random but things I LOVE.

FIGHT AGAINST RACISM

















My favourite picture would have to be the one with the colour pencils. YOU CAN MAKE A DIFFERENCE!

Oh, Good Lord, I'm Back

Credits to Shanks for bringing me back to the world of blogging and saying that I'm a sow for leaving my blog to die. Look, I'm sorry, but I can be a secretive person! (sometimes). So, I think I'll fill this blog up with stories maybe. And I'm determined to do several posts here in case, I don't come back for another few months.


Hmmm, where to start? Remember when I said exam season was over? It's coming back again, and this time, with a vengeance. FINALS. The one word in the English dictionary that scare students all across the land. Time to give up friends, family, life. But maybe not TV or books. JUST KIDDING. Can't you tell when I'm being sarcastic?

I finally turned 14 on the 19th of August. Yay for me! I'm a Leo, and dammit, I'm proud of that. Normally, I think astrology is for suckers (I mean, come on, "today is a good day to hide under your bed because it's armageddon") but I love knowing about people's stars. Shanks and Amrit (Aries), Brinda and Pritrika (Aquarius), Fags and me (Leo!), Nikhita (Cancer), Shiva (Saggitarius) and so many others. It's really fun. I'm gonna do another post about people's stars later.

In other news, can anyone belive how fast the year is going by??It feels like just yesterday it was the second day of the school year. And I believe I used to keep repeating the fact that I hate, hate, HATE my class? Alright, now it's getting better. Of course there are a few individuals who get on my nerves, but I can squash them all right.

Anything else I'm forgetting? OH YES! We had a handball tournament somewhere in July, and my close circuit of friends are absolutely bananas about it, so we rocked it. But we played captainball which is a variation of handball, but who cares? It was so damn FUN!

I'm gonna be doing a few more posts, so I'll see if I forgot anything. BYE FOR NOW! And Shanks, thanks for reminding me my blog still exists!